tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86989766615656080742024-03-05T20:49:46.031+00:00zen mummyI'm a work-at-home writer mum trying to find a more peaceful way, day by day.
Read my blog, check out my articles, hire me to write for you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-9040758752370571622013-05-31T09:24:00.000+01:002013-06-12T00:21:33.306+01:00mummy loves ...<start code="" top=""><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span></start>
<start code="" top=""><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong>Welcome to the May 2013 Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival: Self Love</strong>
<strong></strong><em>This post was written for inclusion in the monthly <a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/blog-carnivals/authentic-parenting-blog-carnival/">Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival</a> hosted by <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/">Authentic Parenting</a> and <a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/">Living Peacefully with Children</a>. This month our participants have written about their thoughts concerning self-love. We hope you enjoy this month's posts and consider joining us next month when we share about Babywearing.</em> </span></start><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There could have been no more appropriate topic for my return
to blogging than this month’s carnival theme ~ self-love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">If you saw my <a href="http://zen-mummy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/when-student-is-ready-teacher-will.html" target="_blank">last post</a> (and no, I can’t believe it’s been
quite that long since I posted) you’ll know that times were difficult. Often, things still are difficult. But I think
– tentatively – that we might be heading towards easier days. (Of course, now I
am cursing myself for that ill-advised public declaration, because we all know
how the law of positive parenting statements goes: ‘yeah, s/he’s sleeping great
these days’ = no more sleep again. Ever.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Truth be told, I ‘lost’ myself for a long time. I struggled to
juggle two children, each at different stages of dependency, with bringing in a
freelance income (a necessity, rather than a personal preference) while trying to remain
a connected and constant presence for my family. I’m not
too proud to admit that recently, I have failed at this. I’ve not being doing my
career justice, and I’ve not been doing my family justice. My temper has been worryingly short, my
recourse to yelling frighteningly frequent. Between deadlines, co-sleeping,
tandem feeding, etc, there was no part of my day, my mind, my body that was my
own. I was burning out, personally and professionally. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And then, a week or two ago, a switch flicked. Something shifted
in me. </span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started writing again, for pleasure rather than profit.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I made new career plans.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started running again (the addition of two children, three
stone and five years since my last run have made this a far from easy
undertaking.) </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started making plans to meet people. In the evening. Sans
children. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And, I started to gently remind my girls that mummy has the
right to finish her meal, to put her boobs back in her top for at least ten
minutes per day, to sleep. To do things for herself, sometimes. [Actual conversation with oldest child: 'Sometimes you have to let mummy finish what she's doing. Mummy is a person too.' 'No you're not. You're an alligator.']</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It took a while to get here, from being subsumed by
motherhood. And it’s partly an age thing ~ I have a <i>*cough*</i> milestone birthday
coming up, Zen Toddler is (for a few more precious months, only) Zen Pre-schooler,
with Zen Baby now filling the Toddler role. I feel like I need to start ticking a few more things off my list of dreams and goals, and now that they are no longer babies <i>{sob}</i> their needs are not quite so immediate. But also, hearing them parrot back the things I say and watching them mirror my actions, I’ve become very conscious of
the behaviour I model. I don’t attach value judgements to food. I make them aware that mummy has another job,
as well as ‘being mummy’. I make sure that they know that women are strong,
that wearing lipstick doesn’t make you prettier, that princesses can rescue
themselves. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And now, by giving myself a little bit back, by re-filling
the well, by giving myself a bit of space to do the things I used to love to do pre-children,
I’m letting them know that mummies are people too. That mummy loves them very very much, but that mummy loves mummy too. Hopefully, from this, they will learn to truly love themselves.</span><br />
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Visit <a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/blog-carnivals/authentic-parenting-blog-carnival/"><strong>Living Peacefully with Children</strong></a> and <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html"><strong>Authentic Parenting</strong></a> to find out how you can participate in next month's <a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/blog-carnivals/authentic-parenting-blog-carnival/">Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival</a>, when we discuss babywearing!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
<em>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 1 with all the carnival links.)</em>
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<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/2013/05/31/mothering-myself/"><strong>Mothering Myself</strong></a>- Mandy at <a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.com/">Living Peacefully with Children</a> discusses how her children have been a catalyst for treating herself better.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong><a href="http://everybreathitake.com/parenthood/the-habit-of-intentional-rest/">The Habit of Intentional Rest</a> </strong>- Jennifer Hoffman, of <a href="http://everybreathitake.com/">Every Breath I Take</a>, shares how she "puts her own oxygen mask on first" with her habit of intentional rest.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong><a href="http://gwynnraimondi.com/2013/05/31/replenishing-by-connecting/">Replenishing by Connecting</a></strong> - <a href="http://gwynnraimondi.com/">Gwynn Raimondi</a> found the way to self care through connection to those who matter most: herself, her husband, her daughter.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2013/05/overcoming-body-image-for-the-sake-of-our-children.html"><strong>Overcoming Body Image For The Sake Of Our Children</strong></a> - Jennifer at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.hybridrastamama.com">Hybrid Rasta Mama</a> takes a hard look at how her own body image can positively or negatively affect her daughter and why that scares her more than anything!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://projectprocrastinot.blogspot.com/2013/05/i-resented-my-pregnant-body.html"><strong>I Resented my Pregnant Body</strong></a> - Mercedes at <a href="http://www.projectprocrastinot.blogspot.com/">Project Procrastinot</a> blogs about body image and the pettiness she felt when she couldn't accept the physical changes of pregnancy.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.jananas.com/staying-sane-taking-care-of-myself"><strong>Staying Sane & Taking Care of Myself</strong></a> - Jana Falls at <a href="http://www.jananas.com/">Jananas</a> discusses how she, as an introvert mama, has made time to take care of herself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/2013/05/depression-and-self-image.html"><strong>Depression and Self-Image</strong></a> - At <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/">Authentic Parenting</a>, Laura confesses how much her recent depression has distorted her self-image and how she struggles to overcome this.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://zen-mummy.blogspot.com/2013/05/mummy-loves.html"><strong>mummy loves ... </strong></a> - Helen at <a href="http://www.zenmummy.co.uk/">Zen Mummy</a> shares a post about re-finding the person behind the mummy.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://muminsearch.com/2013/05/inner-critics/"><strong>Can my inner critics stop me from participating in a self-love blog carnival?</strong></a>- Tat from <a href="http://muminsearch.com/">Mum in search</a> almost didn't get to write for this carnival. Until she stopped to ask herself why she was pulling out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><strong><a href="http://www.togetherwalking.com/1/post/2013/05/self-love-a-formula-and-pictogram-with-ramblings.html">Self-Love, A Formula and Pictogram With Ramblings</a></strong> - Susan May of <a href="http://www.togetherwalking.com/" id="yui_3_7_2_1_1370078980889_18179" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Together
Walking</a> gives her formula for Self Love and some of the ramblings from her
mind on what Self Love means. Her journey of Self Love began about a year ago
when she first heard the "official" term, Self Love.</span></li>
</ul>
<end bottom="" code=""></end>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-32866330384380226672012-09-29T17:50:00.000+01:002012-09-29T17:58:14.940+01:00When the student is ready, the teacher will appear: zen and the bad-tempered baby<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8QGqqD-39qlErSu7Gf1ZIPO1kR3xSppBuo8nw-EoSzsKkNJC6GRqMTkvhcEURSWwI-jOLU77Jgf9MTbpAZD3h1NcOJ_17aHtSlzOSXQ5Q0oct-9XusVKsh5P12pI5DvRfSoNXoiKtoaV8/s1600/542.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8QGqqD-39qlErSu7Gf1ZIPO1kR3xSppBuo8nw-EoSzsKkNJC6GRqMTkvhcEURSWwI-jOLU77Jgf9MTbpAZD3h1NcOJ_17aHtSlzOSXQ5Q0oct-9XusVKsh5P12pI5DvRfSoNXoiKtoaV8/s320/542.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">There’s a saying that goes along the lines of ‘When the
student is ready, the teacher will appear’.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">My first daughter – Zen Toddler (or, more accurately, Zen
Pre-schooler, these days) – taught me to be brave. I wanted to bestow upon her
the belief that she could live the life she wants to live and be the person she wants to
be, and I felt that she’d be much more able to accept that as a possibility if
she saw me do the same. Hence, a frightening, intuitive leap into freelancing
and a career I’d dreamed of for over
twenty years. I doubt I’d ever have had the nerve, if not for her. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I drafted this post sitting upstairs in our Mediterranean
holiday home while listening to the (somewhat misnomered) Zen Baby rage angrily
against Mr Z. Zen Baby is very angry, very often. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There. I said it. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I’ve avoided saying for a long time, anxious not to swaddle
her in a label that she cannot wriggle free from, or to lock her into a
self-perpetuating definition. But she’s hard work. This has been a hard year. I
had optimistic plans to steer my career in a new direction, get <i>Zen Mummy</i>
fully-established, be a more active participant in the natural parenting
community, lose the baby weight through yoga and mindful eating, plus a few
other creative ventures I’d hoped to develop … </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Instead, I’ve got two stone of baby weight left, and too
many half-started projects to show for it. Fitting my full-time job around the
full-time job of placating not-so-Zen Baby has left me just a shade short of
burnt out. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There could be all sorts of reasons why she’s the way she
is: innate temperament, elevated cortisol levels due to my heavy pregnancy workload,
a need to battle for my undivided attention in a way that my first-born never
had to, hyper-intelligence, a chemical imbalance, demonic possession …. I’ve considered
them all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Still, she is who she is. The unique juxtaposition of my
genes and Mr Z’s created this feisty little individual, as tempestuous as her sister
is placid. And instead of trying to ‘fix’ her, my choice is to focus on working
out what it is she’s here to teach me. To be less reactive, more responsive, maybe? To
reduce my ‘to do’ list so that I’m less preoccupied, more present? To mirror
back my own temper-tendencies, so that I can acknowledge them, amend them? I
don’t know yet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But there’s a lesson to be learned here, for sure. There has
to be. Because otherwise? Otherwise it’s just been a fairly crappy year. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>PS: the flowers at the top of the page are from the garden of our holiday home. No idea what they are. Gorgeous, aren't they? </i></span> </span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-21328620548055685522012-07-04T09:41:00.000+01:002012-07-04T09:42:52.197+01:00And, breathe ...<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I'm coming to this late (I come to everything late: full-time mummy + full-time job = not a lot of zen for this mummy, recently), but in a lovely moment of synchronicity I happened upon <a href="http://alivingfamily.com/2012/06/30/parenting-challenge-week-focus-on-breathing/" target="_blank">A Living Family's Parenting Challenge Week</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">It's exactly what I need right now. It's taken a while (more than a few months, no less) to work out the tricky balance between looking after the zen babes and keeping my head above water work-wise. I've gone under a few times ~ I've skimmed a few deadline by the kin of my teeth, and I've not been the paragon of peaceful mummyness that I would have liked [read: screaming harpy] ~ but this week the schedule is slightly more manageable. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I've been listening to a wonderful hypnosis download ~ <a href="http://journeysinwardhypnotherapy.com/self-hypnosis-mp3/women-health/overwhelmed-mother-hypnosis-mp3" target="_blank">Overwhelmed Mother</a> ~ which has helped to smooth some of the rougher times. But still, there have been many occasions recently when the pace of life has left me breathless, and many other occasions when the demands (the constant, constant demands) of caring for two littlies feels suffocating. </span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So, I'll be remembering to breathe. I'll take the time to breathe a little extra calm into our days, find a little bit of space to soothe the frazzled nerves, and show my girls that you can create calm in even the most chaotic of days. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Join in. It's going to be lovely. </span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-65623704542966883632012-03-30T09:05:00.000+01:002012-04-04T21:59:26.994+01:00Once upon a time, there was a princess with a career plan ...<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
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<b>Welcome to March edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="”blank”">Authentic Parenting</a> and <a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="”blank”">Mudpiemama.</a> This month’s topic is “Discovering Through Books”. Please scroll down to the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants. Enjoy!</b> </div>
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“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If
you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
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<a href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/9810.Albert_Einstein">Albert Einstein</a> </div>
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Some of my best friends are books. This isn’t a joke. Books are – and have been for as long as I can remember – an enormous part of my life. My intense love of books is the reason why I am now a writer and editor. </div>
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I lived inside books, as a child. I diligently tapped the back of wardrobes, I kept a look out for white rabbits, and I fervently wished for an underground twin sister who would take me horse-riding. </div>
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As you can maybe tell from the above, I had a particular penchant for ‘other world’ books, those stories where the central character finds a crack in reality – a rabbit hole, a secret doorway, even just a change of perspective – which allowed them to slip into an alternate reality. I did everything in my power to find my own way into another world. I’m still looking now. </div>
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Zen toddler has inherited zen mummy’s love of books, and she’s just at the stage where she’s beginning to understand narrative processes. She wants to hear stories continually: ‘tell me the story of Shrek, tell me the story of the three little pigs, tell me the story of my new shoes, tell me the story of when I went to Grandma’s house, tell me the story of when I was in your tummy’. And re-enacting. Lots of re-enacting.
I want her to have that same magical relationship with books. I want to give her the key to a secret door. I want to help her find her to navigate the many parallel worlds she might be lucky enough to find her way to. </div>
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And at the same time I’m developing an increasing awareness about the stories I tell her and the books we read. Fairy tales feel like the essential background to a rich imagination, but however you spin it, Cinderella is the quintessential passive princess-in-waiting. Domestic goddes she may be, but Snow White is hardly aspirational. And Sleeping Beauty? Was ever an individual less proactive? So many classic children’s tales are deeply mired in disappointingly predictable gender roles: mummies make the tea while daddies go out to work.
So I find myself scanning the library shelves for books that try to break those stereotypes down, even just a little. There’s no such thing as a banned book in our house, but I aim for a better balance: fairies and princesses are allowed, but we complement them with cow-girls and tractors. </div>
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Am I worrying too much? Will too many fairy tales turn my girls into passive, prince-hunting gold-diggers? To what extent do the stories we hear – and the stories that embroider the fabric of our society – shape our sense of who we are and what we might do?
Right now, I don’t have the answers. But I’m hoping that with humour, and a little bit of gentle discussion, I can make sure that my girls don’t see ‘princess-in-waiting’ as a career goal. Cinderella is a story, after all, not a manifesto. </div>
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PS: I’m also on the lookout for books that espouse the principles of natural parenting. Aside from the odd instance of baby-wearing or breastfeeding, I haven’t come across many. Any recommendations?<br />
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Visit <a href="http://positiveparentingconnection.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="_blank"><b>The Positive Parenting Connection</b></a> and <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival" target="_blank"><b>Authentic Parenting</b></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
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<li><b><a href="http://positiveparentingconnection.net/booksandplay/" target="_blank">Books and Play</a></b> — MudpieMama at <b>The Positive Parenting Connection</b> is sharing a fun play based activity that enhances reading comprehension, vocabulary and attention. </li>
<li><b><a blog.moneytrail.net="" href="http://blog.moneytrail.net/2012/03/12-favorite-books-to-start-money.html" http:="" ”="">Using Literature to Talk with Your Child About Money</a></b> — Pam from <b>The MoneyTrail Blog</b> shares her 12 favorite stories to initiate conversations about money with your child.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/reconnecting-through-reading/">Reconnecting Through Reading</a></b> — Reading aloud with our children has its many rewards, from increased vocabulary and reading skills to creative thinking and problem solving skills. At <b>Living Peacefully with Children</b>, reading is also a time to reconnect at the end of the day.</li>
<li><b><a 03="" 2012="" href="http://mommainprogress.blogspot.com/2012/03/its-book-party.html" http:="" it's-book-party.html”="" mommainprogress.blogspot.com="">It’s a Book Party</a></b> — Valerie at <b>Momma in Progress </b> shares a fun way she encourages reading at her house.</li>
<li><b><a 03="" 2012="" href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/03/importance-of-storytelling.html" http:="" importance-of-storytelling.html”="" www.hybridrastamama.com="">The Importance of Storytelling</a></b> — Jennifer at <b>Hybrid Rasta Mama</b> discusses the importance of storytelling as well as how to select a book worthy of reading with your young child.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://oldnewlegacy.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/i-love-books-and-i-hope-my-daughter-does-too/" http:="" p17sjj-hr”="" wp.me="">I Love Books! And I Hope My Daughter Does, Too.</a></b> — Becky at <b>Old New Legacy</b> shares ideas and experiences in her attempt to raise a bookworm.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://lovenotesmama.wordpress.com/2012/03/30/the-wonderful-world-of-childrens-books/">The Wonderful World of Children's Books</a></b> — Carrie @ <b>LoveNotesMama</b> shares her enthusiasm and adoration for the joys and gifts that children's books bring.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/2012/03/books-have-they-become-obsolete.html"><b>Books, Have They Become Obsolete?</b></a> — Laura at <b>Authentic Parenting</b> investigates wether there's still room for books in this modern world of internet and digital readers.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/03/books-and-unschooling-preschooler.html">Books and Unschooling a Preschooler</a></b> — Lauren at <b>Hobo Mama</b> follows her four-year-old's lead through mummies, digestion, and whale sharks.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://alivingfamily.com/2012/03/30/beyond-reading/">Beyond Reading: How Books Help Us Live and Learn</a></b> — Sheila of <b>A Living Family</b> describes how, more than helping her children learn to read, books help her family live and learn together.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://zen-mummy.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/once-upon-time-there-was-princess-with.html">Once Upon a Time, There Was a Princess With a Career Plan... </a></b> — Helen @ <b>zen mummy</b> wonders how - and if - the tales our children hear influence their future</li>
</ul>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-22624472575608896562012-03-06T10:14:00.002+00:002012-03-06T10:14:31.800+00:00Juno Magazine: a natural approach to family life<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxCczwdMQ4Hx42HXkN6bpF_lO34XzfbCVY6VfhRU1us3Mi6osaxY1uDE-UQCA7neBX1QFUJJJjZDf-8iBmJGbPuNR5U9I8jaiKxZzMc57fUV4LWgPIIrBm-vdx13bFKEgwKcTcWSpEaOo/s1600/Juno-cover-Issue-27.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFxCczwdMQ4Hx42HXkN6bpF_lO34XzfbCVY6VfhRU1us3Mi6osaxY1uDE-UQCA7neBX1QFUJJJjZDf-8iBmJGbPuNR5U9I8jaiKxZzMc57fUV4LWgPIIrBm-vdx13bFKEgwKcTcWSpEaOo/s1600/Juno-cover-Issue-27.png" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Where have you been all my life, <a href="http://www.junomagazine.com/" target="_blank">Juno</a>? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Previously, I'd peeked at some of the articles online, I'd bought a sample issue in the past which I loved, but for some reason it has taken me until now to become a Juno subscriber.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">My first issue arrive this week and, well, YES. It's like they opened up my head and peeped inside my brain (but less icky). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">For a while now I've been thinking about making my own cleaning products, for reason of economy and toxicity. I've 'invented' a multi-purpose spray cleaner that I use on everything from babies bottoms, to my face, to the kitchen surfaces (I change the cloth between cleaning baby's bum / my face / the kitchen, of course. You knew that, right?) but I've yet to expore other product options. And lo, there's a lovely article by <a href="http://www.natalieroberts.net/" target="_blank">Natalie Roberts</a> on that very topic. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I've been making a more conscious effort to do more journalling, in order to process my thoughts more clearly, stay mindful, explore the ever-shifting paradigm of balancing the needs of everyone in the family, and develop ideas for articles and blog posts. Lynn Blair's account of how journalling has seen her through some of the tougher moments of motherhood -- as well as being a fantastic record of the beautiful moments and random minutiae that you want to preserve for posterity -- had me smiling and nodding all the way through.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">And if I'm blessed with a little pocket of free time today I'm planning to immerse myself in Ruth Meyer's piece 'The blossoming of language'. Words are my passion, and I'm fascinated with how a child develops their sense of themselves and the world around them through linguistic expression, so I've been saving this article for a quiet moment when I can really appreciate it. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;"><a href="https://twitter.com/#!/junomagazine" target="_blank">Juno magazine</a>. You really should check it out. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">[ps: this is not a sponsored post, nor am I affiliated with Juno Magazine in any way. I am simply a very impressed subscriber :-) ]</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-4106173578928894732012-02-24T00:30:00.000+00:002012-02-24T22:01:35.046+00:00Keep them close and let them go: fostering healthy attachment as they grow<strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Welcome to the February edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by </span><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="”blank”"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Authentic Parenting</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="”blank”"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mudpiemama.</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> This month, participants have looked into the topic of “Fostering Healthy Attachment”. Please scroll down to the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants. Enjoy!</span>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Zen toddler is potty learning right now. It’s going pretty
well, occasional mishap notwithstanding (‘Mummy, I did an accident!’, announced
with delighted glee). </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">One day, I popped to the kitchen to make toast one day. When
I came back she had pulled her pants down, sat on the potty, and done a wee. I
was so proud I had a tear in my eye. I was proud. And a little bit sad. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where did my ever-so little first-born go? This
is the start of the letting go. And while I am more proud of her than I could ever
have imagined possible, there’s a little pang. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Zen toddler and me, we’re closely attached. In the whole of
her first year, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I
was away from her for more than an hour. We did (and still do) co-sleep, we did
(and still do) breastfeed. We share baths, we eat all of our meals together,
and, barring around 12 hours of Montessori childcare a week, we’re together all
of the time (with zen baby now boosting our ranks).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I’m beginning to wonder what happens as
she gets older, becomes more independent? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">Don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to hold her back, keep
her tethered with the proverbial apron strings. Every forward leap she takes
leaves me awestruck. Sometimes, I can’t believe that this hilarious little
person ricocheting around the house like a stung wasp is the same little bundle
of red-faced potential that I pushed into the world less than three years ago.
But there’s going to come an age when she can dress herself, when she sleeps in
her own bed all night because snuggling in between your parents is just lame.
One day, she might even self-wean (not banking on that one happening anytime
soon ;-/). How do we stay closely attached when we’re not together all day
long, when I’m not the major influence in her life, when she doesn’t need me to
do quite so much for her anymore? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Truthfully, I don’t have the answers. This is the first time
I’ve done any of this. In this, as in so many areas, zen baby will have the advantage
of not being the test-case. But this time, first-time round, I don’t know what
I’m doing. So far I’ve parented entirely on instinct, but I have no instinctive
inclinations for this. </span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">So, how do you keep them close while letting them go? Share
your stories, experiences, and tips, because I could really use some ideas.</span> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Visit <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="_blank"><strong>Authentic Parenting</strong></a> and <a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="_blank"><strong>Mudpiemama</strong></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!<br />
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:<br />
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<li><strong><a href="http://zen-mummy.blogspot.com/2012/02/keep-them-close-and-let-them-go.html" target="_blank">"Keep Them Close and Let Them Go: Fostering Healthy Attachment As They Grow"</a></strong> — Helen at <strong>Zen Mummy</strong> wonders how to maintain a healthy attachment as our children become more independent.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/pMVLj-1bA" target="_blank">"Honesty (With Your Children) is the Best Policy"</a></strong> — Mandy at <strong>Living Peacefully With Children</strong> shares how honesty with her children is helping to build an authentic relationship which will last through the teen years and beyond.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/02/fostering-healthy-attachment.html" target="_blank">"Fostering Healthy Attachment?"</a></strong> — <strong>Momma Jorje</strong> discusses how she is building a foundation of attachment with her children and how she hopes it serves them in their lives as they grow into adults.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.deliberateparenting.net/2012/02/16/beyond-bookend...working-parent.html" target="_blank">Beyond Bookend Parenting</a></strong> — Marisa at <strong>Deliberate Parenting</strong> describes their efforts to maintain their toddler's attachment to her working parent through play and routines throughout the day. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/02/have-you-huggled-today.html" target="_blank">Have You "Huggled" Today?</a></strong> — Kerry at <strong>City Kids Homeschooling</strong> shares how "huggles" work like magic in her home.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.asecurebase.blogspot.com/2012/02/your-childhood-your-child's-childhood.html" target="_blank">Your Childhood=Your Child's Childhood?</a></strong> — Amy at <strong>A Secure Base</strong> examines the research about how our attachment experience can shape our attachment with our children. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/02/24/list-making-activities-celebrate-family-connections" target="_blank">List-Making Activities to Celebrate Family Connections</a></strong> — Dionna at <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong> shares some family list-making activities that will help you reflect on what you love about your family and can spark ideas for future family fun.</li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/02/keep-in-touch-with-distant-grandparents.html" target="_blank">How To Keep in Touch With Distant Grandparents</a></strong> — Lauren at <strong>Hobo Mama</strong> offers several tips to foster connection with relatives who live far away.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/beyond-bonding-positioning-babywearing" target="_blank">Beyond Bonding: The Power of Positioning in Babywearing</a></strong> — Steffany, a babywearing educator, guest posting at <strong>Natural Parents Network</strong>, explains how optimal positioning in quality carriers can help babies' physical growth, brain development, and overall attachment.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://touchstonez.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/playing-follow-the-leader" target="_blank">Playing Follow the Leader</a></strong> — Zoie at <strong>TouchstoneZ</strong> has learned that the more she meets her children where they are rather than where she would like them to be, the greater the elasticity of their bonds are.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://alivingfamily.com/2012/02/17/the-evolution-of-attachment-parenting-without-a-roadmap" target="_blank">The Evolution of Attachment: Parenting Without a Roadmap</a></strong> — Sheila at <strong>A Living Family</strong> reflects on her family's recent generation of mothers and shares how she is working to make an evolutionary leap towards forming healthy attachment.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/" target="_blank">Facilitating Sibling Connection</a></strong> — Laura at <strong>Authentic Parenting</strong> gives a set of pointers on how to facilitate sibling bonding.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/02/farm-in-my-bed.html" target="_blank">The Farm in my Bed</a></strong> — Jennifer at <strong>Hybrid Rasta Mama</strong> discusses fostering children's healthy attachment to "lovies" and comfort objects..</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.blogger.com/”http://mommainprogress.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-early-morning-shadow.html”"> My Early Morning Shadow</a></strong> Valerie at <strong> Momma in Progress </strong>shares a few ways she maintains a strong connection with her almost six-year-old daughter.</li>
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</span></strong>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-38100383645104805362012-02-23T22:59:00.000+00:002012-02-23T23:21:25.246+00:00Call for submissions: La Leche League anthology<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanks to <a href="http://dreamingaloudnet.blogspot.com/2012/02/creative-calls-for-submission.html)" target="_blank">Dreaming Aloud</a> for posting about this submission
opportunity from <a href="http://www.mothersmilkbooks.com/?page_id=51" target="_blank">Mother’s Milk Books</a>
(and apologies about the short notice ~ you’ve still got a week, though):<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><o:p><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"> </span></o:p></span><b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-themecolor: text1;">Musings on Mothering - La
Leche League GB anthology</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-themecolor: text1;"><br />
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<b>Deadline</b>: end February 2012. <br />
<b>Contact</b>: Teika Bellamy teika@mothersmilkbooks.com<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></div>
<strong><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1;">The Aims of the
Project</span></i></strong><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1;"><o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1;">To harness the creativity of mothers, and
indeed, anyone who has been inspired by the positive effect that ‘mothering
through breastfeeding’ has had on their life.<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1;">To produce a beautiful book, full of uplifting
work.<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1;">To raise funds for La Leche League GB through
the sale of the book.<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-themecolor: text1;">The full submission guidelines are
<a href="http://www.mothersmilkbooks.com/?page_id=51" target="_blank">here</a>.
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m in the process of putting something together.
It’s important to share real-life experiences of breastfeeding, to keep
breastfeeding in the public eye, and to reinforce the normalization (rather
than the demonization) of breastfeeding. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Go on, get something down. You’re the only one who
can tell your story. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-70328437211952740992012-02-21T23:45:00.000+00:002012-02-23T23:29:28.964+00:00The zen of potty learning*<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Opportunities
to practice mindfulness arise from the most unexpected places. I</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> didn’t
expect the potty to be one of them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We’ve had a potty knocking around the house since before zen
baby was a bump, but it has mainly been used as a comfy seat for tv watching
(for toddler, not me; my rear is far, far too large for that) or a handy dust-catcher. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">We never made an issue of it, because child-led is my thang,
although we would occasionally remember to do a rather half-hearted ‘want to
use the potty? No? Ok then’ every <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>three
or four months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then one day, a couple of weeks back, I asked her if she
fancied sitting on it while we read a story. She did, and wee ensued. Not long
after, I popped to the kitchen to make toast and by the time I came back she’d
removed all lower body coverings and was perched proudly on the pot: ‘I done another
wee, mummy!’ </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And, incredibly, since then it’s been mainly successes, with
the occasional accident (apologies, lovely new carpet of our newly
renovated local library). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">It has been a gentle process, and an unexpectedly enjoyable
one.</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Enjoyable not so much because there has been so much less
stress and mess than I feared, but enjoyable because being alert to zen toddler’s
bladder and bowel situation at every given moment has been a very mindful process,
and one that has made me more aware of her. It’s been all too easy, recently,
to leave her to her own devices because I’m feeding zen baby, or sorting laundry,
or scribbling some work notes, or tired and lethargic and not very engaged. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But keeping an eye out for the tell-tale body language that
lets me know that there’s an elimination on the way and keeping a mental
balance sheet of ‘liquids consumed + length of time since last potty sitting –
volume of most recent wee = likelihood of needing to go soon’ has meant that I’m
thinking about her as much of the time as possible, I’m staying close to her,
and I’m putting myself in her place and being as aware of her needs as I can be
(emotional needs as well as physical: I’ve been mindful not to convey any
anxiety or neuroticism. We’re British, she’ll develop plenty of her own hang-ups
about bodily functions and biology in due course … )</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Potty learning ~ an unexpectedly zen experience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Which aspects <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of
parenting have you found to be unexpectedly mindful experiences? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></o:p><span style="font-family: Calibri;">*<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><em> <span style="font-size: small;">The differentiation between ‘potty training’ and ‘potty
learning’ could be dismissed as mere semantics, but the weight of a word is
important to me. I haven’t ‘trained’ her to do anything (ok, I may have conditioned her to bring me my
towel when I’m finished showering, but that's </span></em><span style="font-size: small;">totally<em> different. Honest). The way I see it, she decided that she
wanted to start using her potty, and I’m helping her to learn how to do
that. You toilet train a dog, not a child (and I'll say it again, towel-fetching doesn't count).</em></span></span> </span></div>
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<br /></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-8995950119950955832012-02-14T08:00:00.000+00:002012-02-14T23:46:01.516+00:00Empathy and respect<strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents</span></strong><br />
<em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by </span><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/02/14/feb-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Code Name: Mama</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/02/february-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hobo Mama</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>We parents should always strive to use our words and actions to convey empathy and respect, rather than power and superiority. </b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">(Harvey Karp, <i>The Happiest Toddler on the Block</i>, p. 19)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The above quote is written in the context of communication with your toddler, but it applies equally, I think, to our interactions with everyone else we come into contact with. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Respectful Interactions with other parents ~ I couldn’t wait to get started on this post. I had a thousand ideas. I’d been stung many, many times, both online and In Real Life, by comments made by others. Sometimes I’d stewed for days, months, (yes, I admit) years even, over some barbed remark I’d internalised and interpreted to mean that I was A Bad Parent (or, seemingly even worse nowadays, A Perfectly Smug, Perfectly Perfect Mother). And you know what, it wasn’t fair, because I don’t judge others or comment on their parenting choices. And anyway, my choices are all backed up by research. And instinct. They are The Right Choices. Mother knows best, therefore that must make me the best mo …..</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Oh, hang on a minute, I think I just found my angle. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Apparently 80% of drivers think that they themselves are a fantastic driver. It’s everyone else on the road who drives badly. Something doesn’t add up there. If 80% of us are self-proclaimed impeccable drivers, who are all the incompetents out there who turn without indicating because they are wilfully negligent, or who park across two parking spaces because they don’t care enough to reverse properly?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Substitute ‘parents’ for ‘drivers’ in that last paragraph, swap the driving crimes for parenting flashpoints such as breast vs bottle, routine vs baby-led, and you’ve got my point. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">No one sets out to be a bad parent. But we all fear, at times, that we might be. Some days we certainly will be less than perfect. Parenting is bloody hard work, and no one can be at the top of their game 100% of the time on a roster that includes evenings, weekends, public holidays, 3am, 4:17am, and then again at 5:40am, 5:55am, 6:09am …. Oh sod it, I might as well just get up for the day now. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Just like the precise distance a projectile poo can erupt across a brand new rug, I had no idea about any of this before I had my babies. My ante-natal classes failed to cover the Mummy Wars, made no reference to that fact that almost every parenting choice you make can, and probably at some point will, be taken as a personal criticism by someone who made a different choice. I know this because I have myself felt judged, attacked or pitied by others with different opinions on the ideal way for a child to eat, sleep or be disciplined. And if I’ve felt defensive, you can bet others have too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">So, how can a mummy retain her zen when she feels like baring her teeth? Myself, I consider that maybe I took their comment the wrong way, or that maybe they’re lashing out because they have worries about their parenting choices or their child’s development. Maybe they only managed a few grains of scrambled sleep last night. Or maybe one hundred other reasons that I cannot begin to imagine. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And if it turns out that they are simply a rude, overbearing, judgey-judge? Not my problem. All I can do is minimise their impact on my life and my children by not letting them carve out a space in my head and by not dwelling on their comments, or their assumed intention. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">And then I look at how happy and bright my children are and remind myself that I’m doing ok. Because that’s pretty much what parenting is ~ trying our best to not get it too wrong, with occasional flashes of sheer brilliance. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Some links that you might like:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/apr/23/emma-donoghue-mummy-wars-parenting" target="_blank">I'm sick of all this mutual surveillance – let's put a stop to the Mummy Wars</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/2011/09/well-arent-you-perfect-parent.html" target="_blank">Well aren't you the perfect parent!!</a></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/09/26/dont-judge-me/#.TzBVGIE1REM" target="_blank">“Don’t Judge Me”</a></span></div>
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<a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/" target="_blank" title="Carnival of Natural Parenting"><img align="right" alt="Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/CNPnaturalparent.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Visit </span><a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/" target="_blank"><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Code Name: Mama</span></strong></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hobo Mama</span></strong></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</span><br />
<em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)</span></em><br />
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<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p1eq2r-3Xz" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — At <strong>Natural Parents Network</strong>, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/02/judgement-is-natural-just-dont-condemn.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Jennifer at <strong>Hybrid Rasta Mama</strong> shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://mommainprogress.blogspot.com/2012/02/four-ways-to-share-your-parenting.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Valerie at <strong>Momma in Progress</strong> shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://http//parentingbythelightofthemoon.blogspot.com/2012/02/carnival-of-natural-parenting-parental-disagreements.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When Other Parents Disagree With You</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka <strong>Witch Mom</strong>, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://dreamingaloudnet.blogspot.com/2012/02/mama-bashing.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mama Bashing</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Lucy at <strong>Dreaming Aloud</strong> reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.fineandfairblog.com/2012/02/accentuate-positive.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Accentuate the Positive</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Joella at <strong>Fine and Fair</strong> shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.mummedia.net/2012/02/the-politics-of-mothers-–-keys-to-respectful-interactions-with-other-parents/%20?" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Tara from <strong>MUMmedia</strong> offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://agiftuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/trying-to-build-our-village.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Trying to build our village</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Sheila at <strong>A Gift Universe</strong> tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://theartfulmama.com/2012/02/internet-etiquette-mommy-wars/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Shannon at <strong>The Artful Mama</strong> discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.parentinggodschildren.blogspot.com/2012/02/parenting-with-convictions.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Parenting with Convictions</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Sarah at <strong>Parenting God's Children</strong> encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.imafulltimemummy.com/post/2012/02/14/How-To-Be-Respectful-Despite-Disagreeing-On-Parenting-Styles.aspx" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles...</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Jenny at <strong>I'm a Full-Time Mummy</strong> shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/02/public-relations.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Public Relations</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — <strong>Momma Jorje</strong> touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/navigating-parenting-politics" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Navigating Parenting Politics </span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at <strong>The Other Baby Book</strong> shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/02/february-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Hiding in my grace cave</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Lauren at <strong>Hobo Mama</strong> wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://fabulousmamachronicles.blogspot.com/2012/02/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Wolfmother at <strong>Fabulous Mama Chronicles</strong> explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://http//zen-mummy.blogspot.com/2012/02/empathy-and-respect.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Empathy and respect</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Helen at <strong>zen mummy</strong> tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/2012/02/not-holier-than-thou" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Not Holier Than Thou</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Amyables at <strong>Toddler in Tow</strong> muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://highneedsattachment.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/nonviolent-communication-and-unconditional-love/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Wendylori at <strong>High Needs Attachment</strong> reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://mamammalia.blogspot.com/2012/02/respectful-parenting-as-way-of-life" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Sylvia at <strong>MaMammalia</strong> writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/02/homeschooling-why-not.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Homeschooling: Why Not?</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Kerry at <strong>City Kids Homeschooling</strong> shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://livingmontessorinow.com/2012/02/14/if-you-cant-say-something-nice/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">If You Can’t Say Something Nice…</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Deb Chitwood at <strong>Living Montessori Now</strong> tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/pMVLj-1aj" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Different Rules for Different Families</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Mandy at <strong>Living Peacefully with Children</strong> discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com/2012/02/14/respectful-interaction-with-other-parents/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Respectful Interaction With Other Parents</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Luschka at <strong>Diary of a First Child</strong> shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://katewicker.com/2012/02/parenting-as-a-mirror.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Parenting as a mirror</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, <strong>Kate Wicker</strong> discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://africanbabiesdontcry.blogspot.com/2012/02/one-thing-most-parents-have-in-common.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Christine at <strong>African Babies Don't Cry</strong> finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/2012/02/5-ways-to-eliminate-judgebe-judged-metality" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — <strong>MudpieMama</strong> reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.updownandnatural.com/2012/02/speaking-up-for-those-who-cant-.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Speaking Up For Those Who Can't</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at <strong>Up Down, And Natural</strong> is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…" </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.tmuffin.com/2012/02/thank-you-for-your-opinion.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Thank you for your opinion</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Gaby at <strong>Tmuffin</strong> shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/02/mending.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mending</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at <strong>Million Tiny Things</strong> is needed.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.becomingcrunchy.com/2012/02/the-thing-you-dont-know/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">The Thing You Don't Know</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Kelly at <strong>Becoming Crunchy</strong> talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.ithoughtiknewmama.com/2012/02/respectful-interaction/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Charise at <strong>I Thought I Knew Mama</strong> shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://pandamoly.blogspot.com/2012/02/peacefully-keeping-my-cool-quotes-from.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — How do you keep your cool? Ana from<strong> Pandamoly</strong> shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://lovenotesmama.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/kind-matters/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Kind Matters</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Carrie at <strong>Love Notes Mama</strong> discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/%20doing-it-my-way-but-respecting-your-highway/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Doing it my way but respecting your highway.</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Terri from <strong>Child of the Nature Isle</strong> is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://toloveeverymoment.blogspot.com/2012/02/saying-im-right-and-youre-wrong-seldom.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause...</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Kat at <strong>Loving {Almost} Every Moment</strong> writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://theresapickleinmylife.blogspot.com/2012/02/have-another-kid-and-you-wont-care.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Have another kid and you won't care</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Cassie of <strong> There's a Pickle in My Life</strong>, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/02/14/feb-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong> shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://touchstonez.com/2012/02/14/a-little-light-conversation/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A Little Light Conversation</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Zoie at <strong>TouchstoneZ</strong> explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.puginthekitchen.com/?p=443" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Why I used to hide the formula box</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Laura at <strong>Pug in the Kitchen</strong> finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p1sxMC-Ke" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Assumptions</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Nada at <strong>minimomist</strong> discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://monkeybuttjunction.com/?p=1715" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Jenn at <strong>Monkey Butt Junction</strong> knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://boobietime.blogspot.com/2012/02/agree-to-disagree-online-and-remain.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Respectfully Interacting with Others Online</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Lani at <strong>Boobie Time Blog</strong> discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet. </span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://crunchyconservativemommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/presumption-of-good-will.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Presumption of Good Will</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Why — and how — <strong>Crunchy Con Mommy</strong> is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p5RtM-1NF" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Being Gracious with Parenting Advice</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at <strong>My World Edenwild</strong>.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://www.anktangle.com/2012/02/explain-smile-escape.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Explain, Smile, Escape</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at <strong>Anktangle</strong> shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://dulcefamily.blogspot.com/2012/02/tightrope-generations-cultures-and.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Balancing Cultures and Choices</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — <strong>Dulce de leche</strong> discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.</span></li>
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<li><strong><a href="http://hannahandhorn.blogspot.com/2012/02/linky-parenting-peacefully-with-social_14.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media</span></a></strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> — <strong>Hannabert's Mom</strong> discusses parenting in a social media world.</span></li>
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-2419861742505039402012-02-04T22:52:00.000+00:002012-02-04T22:52:06.992+00:00Happy days?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:DoNotShowPropertyChanges/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-GB</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:DontVertAlignCellWithSp/> <w:DontBreakConstrainedForcedTables/> <w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/> <w:Word11KerningPairs/> <w:CachedColBalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zen toddler is interspersing learning to use the potty with throwing the most stunning, earth-shaking tantrums. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zen baby has a delightful teething + growth spurt combo going on. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Zen mummy is so exhausted that, for most of today, my right eye stubbornly refused to fully open. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In time, I’ll look back on these days with sepia-tinged nostalgia, right?</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-29807141759537317012012-01-28T00:21:00.000+00:002012-01-28T00:21:58.161+00:00Why be a mindful mother?<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Here's why: </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am a little kid for you to love.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am a little kid for you to hug and kiss.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am a little kid for you to say,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">"you are so special, yes you are", to.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I am a little kid for all of those things, and more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And when you feel and say and do all of those things,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will be a little kid who will love you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will be a little kid who will hug and kiss you.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will be a little kid who will say to you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">"You are so special, too, yes you are."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">I will be a little kid who will do all of those things, and more.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And that is what happiness is all about. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mattie Stepanek, 1990-2004</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-53254850848161189332012-01-25T22:21:00.000+00:002012-01-27T23:23:54.418+00:00Yet another resolutions post ....<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Welcome to the first edition of the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival, hosted by </span><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="”blank”"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Authentic Parenting</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="”blank”"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Mudpiemama!</span></a></strong><br />
<br />
<em><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In the month of January, we start afresh, a new year, new ideas. Hence, our participants have looked into the topic of “Birth and New Beginnings”. Take a look at the end of this post to find a list of links to the entries of the other participants.</span></em><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">***</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Welcome to my first post for the Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival. </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="_blank"><em><strong><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">January is the month where we start afresh, take the plunge again and leave the old. What are your new year's resolutions?</span></strong></em></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Well, you might be forgiven for thinking one of my resolutions is, mostly, to do stuff (such as making resolutions) weeks after everyone else. This is probably a little bit true (I've got two kids and my time-management skills are variable), and even though I’ve been reading Leo Babauta’s </span><a href="http://zenhabits.net/effortless/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Effortless Life</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> and </span><a href="http://zenhabits.net/100-days/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">blog-posts on goal-free living</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">, I still can’t help but compile a mental list of all the things I am going to do, improve, achieve, perfect and complete in 2012. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">There's not too much. It's certainly not overwhelming. Eminently 'do-able', I'd say (except I won't <em>ever</em> say 'do-able' because it's a silly word). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In no particular order: lose the last 20 (ok, 30) lbs of stubborn baby weight, do yoga and pilates every day, save lots of money and live well within my means, eat well, go to bed early every night, read all of the unread books on my book shelves and on my Kindle, maybe write a few more myself too, write more articles, develop a children's book series, declutter the house, live more sustainably, be kind to everyone all of the time, be better at keeping in touch with friends, finish all of the tasks in my sewing pile, start up two or three new businesses based around ideas I've been toying with, walk everywhere instead of taking the car, never let the kids eat too many sweets, switch off the tv more often, meditate regularly, and be a beatifically calm paragon of zen parenting at all times and under all circumstances. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Easy, no? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Ok, I probably won't manage to tick every single one of those off my mental checklist (I'll probably have to use the car <em>sometimes</em>), so, in the interests of manageability, I'm narrowing it down to these: </span><br />
<ul><li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Complete and publish a children's book </span></li>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Be nice </span></li>
</ul><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">'Be nice' may only be two little words, but it is by far the bigger undertaking. It encompasses every aspect of my mindful intentions, and for someone with a short fuse (me!) it isn't going to be easy. But that's kind of the whole reason I started this blog. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Happy New Year, everyone</span><br />
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Visit <a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/p/carnival.html" target="_blank"><strong>Authentic Parenting</strong></a> and <a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/carnival-of-authentic-parenting/" target="_blank"><strong>MudpieMama</strong></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Authentic Parenting Blog Carnival!<br />
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:<br />
<em>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon January 27 with all the carnival links.)</em><br />
<ul><li><strong><a href="http://mommainprogress.blogspot.com/2012/01/becoming-intentional-with-my-time.html" target="_blank">Becoming Intentional with My Time</a></strong> Valerie at <b>Momma in Progress</b> shares the beginning of her year-long journey toward more intentional living. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/01/alriks-birth-story-sweet-surprise.html" target="_blank">Alirik’s Birth Story: Sweet Surprise</a></strong> Lauren at <b>Hobo Mama</b> tells the sweet surprise unassisted home water birth story of her second child.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.themahoganyway.com/2012/01/my-rebirth-honest-look.html" target="_blank">My Rebirth: An Honest Look</a></strong> Darcel at <b>The Mahogany Way</b> talks a little about some of the fear and insecurity she's felt over the years since starting her parenting journey and her blog.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/01/27/ailias-birth-story/" target="_blank">Trusting My Body: Ailia’s Birth Story</a></strong> After a very challenging birth with her son, Dionna at <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong> was nervous about having another natural birth. But practicing relaxation techniques and birth affirmations proved to be just what she needed to have her perfect, peaceful, unassisted homebirth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://babydustdiaries.com/2012/01/my-homeschool-philosophy-part-1/" target="_blank">My Homeschool Philosophy</a></strong> Paige a <strong>Bay Dust Diaries</strong> shares her new year's resulution about homeschooling. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://zen-mummy.blogspot.com/2012/01/yet-another-resolutions-post.html" target="_blank">Yet Another Resolutions Post..</a>.</strong> <b>Zen mummy</b>'s resolutions for a better 2012</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://monkeybuttjunction.com/2012/01/27/renewing-green-passions-in-the-new-year/" target="_blank">Renewing Green Passions in the New Year</a></strong> Jenn at <b>Monkey Butt Junction</b> talks about renewing a passion for green living in the new year</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://alivingfamily.com/2012/01/27/carnival-birthing-and-new-beginnings-and-better-mom/" target="_blank">Birthing and New Beginnings... And Better Mothering</a></strong> Sheila at <b>A Living Family</b> shares her first ever New Year's resolutions to be a more mindful, compassionate and respectful mother to her two-year old daughter after the recent birth of her son.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/01/open-letter-to-mtv-regarding-16-and.html" target="_blank">An Open Letter to MTV Regarding 16 and Pregnant</a></strong> Jennifer at <b>Hybrid Rasta Mama</b> delivers a pointed message to MTV about how they misrepresent birth and parenthood on 16 and Pregnant.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/" target="_blank">Setting Intentions</a> </strong>Megan at <b>The Other Baby Blog</b> shares another way to ring in the New Year.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/01/spencers-birth-story.html" target="_blank">Spencer's Birth Story</a></strong> <b>Momma Jorje</b> shares her family's story of birthing her son with Down syndrome.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://blog.childorganics.com/2012/01/looking-forward-looking-back.html" target="_blank">Looking Forward, Looking Back</a></strong> Erica @ <b>ChildOrganics</b> shares how she is able to look back at the loss of their daughter and yet move forward with her family at the same time. </li>
<li><a href="http://vibrantwanderings.com/2012/01/unique-unto-itself.html"><b>Unique unto Itself</b></a>. Melissa of <b>Vibrant Wanderings</b> has chosen a word for her second child's birth: awareness.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/2012/01/unassisted-birth-of-little-buddha.html" target="_blank">The Unassisted Birth of The LIttle Buddha</a>.</strong> Laura at <strong>Authentic Parenting</strong> shares the birth story of her new baby</li>
<li><a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/2012/01/birthing-and-resolutions-keeping-good-things-in-motion/"><b>Birthing and Resolutions: Keeping Good Things in Motion</b></a>. <b>MudpieMama</b> shares her VBAC story and why she skipped making resolutions in the traditional way. </li>
<li><a href="http://livingpeacefullywithchildren.wordpress.com/2012/01/27/the-birth-of-a-new-era/" target="_blank">The Birth of a New Era</a> by Mandy from <b>Living Peacefully With Children</b></li>
</ul><br />
<!-- END BOTTOM STRAIGHT LIST CODE -->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-19008369395959864832012-01-21T23:10:00.000+00:002012-01-21T23:10:38.456+00:00Mindfulness and mothering: hand in hand & poles apart<iframe allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0" id="twttrHubFrame" name="twttrHubFrame" scrolling="no" src="http://platform.twitter.com/widgets/hub.1326407570.html" style="height: 10px; position: absolute; top: -9999em; width: 10px;" tabindex="0"></iframe> <span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">‘Mindfulness’ was not in my vocabulary before I became a mother. Eldest child’s position in my life – fully central – determined my parenting approach. I did whatever seemed most natural: we were baby-led in everything, we co-slept, we breastfed. I followed my instincts, even though this was often in opposition to the ‘wisdom’ of the majority of baby books, health professionals and random old ladies in public places who felt that their day was not complete until they stopped to impart the benefit of their crystallised knowledge (NB: it is not true that babies cannot digest bananas unless they are mashed with sugar. Just putting out there, in case she stops you too).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Everything was going swimmingly, but I started to feel the need to be more mindful (even though, at first, I didn’t know that was the word for it). What I did know was that she was changing so very quickly, and I felt like I was letting a lot of those snapshot moments slip away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy to lose your focus amid the nappies and the laundry and the paid work and the bedtime battles and the shopping and the cleaning and trying to find the time to fit in a selfish trip to the loo ~ your child can easily become another thing on the long list of chores and responsibilities. Sometimes I had to remind myself that she was more than just a list of things to be ticked off the list (Fed? Yes. Changed? Yes. Books read? Yes. Park trip done? Yes, yes, tick, tick, tick <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>… ) </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">And then you blink and they’re a day older, a month older, a year older. Your newborn is walking and talking and there’s already a hint of the teenage ‘tude to come in the defiance and tantrums that pepper each day. </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Being a more mindful mother might just help me to make the most of each moment.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">But aside from what a more mindful approach might bring to me, the real beneficiary would be my child. By remembering to be mindful, I’d be more present, I’d be looking her in the eye and really listening to her, not muttering ‘mmmmm, yes …’ while wondering which of the twenty pressing tasks on my list I should do next. She’d know she was important, she’d know that I was fully there with her, rather than just in the same room as her. </span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Ironically, while mindfulness and parenting go hand in hand, it’s hard to master. There’s nothing more conducive to slipping into auto-pilot than reading the same story 45 times in a day. I’m not going to pretend I have the answer to this, but I’m working on it.</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Oh, and if you do have the answer, could you pop it in the comments, please?) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">A couple of links you might want to check out, by Cassandra Vieten ('Mindful Mothering'):</span></div><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.microsofttranslator.com/BV.aspx?ref=IE8Activity&a=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.psychologytoday.com%2Fblog%2Fmindful-motherhood%2F201105%2Fmindfulness-moms-the-basics" target="_blank">Mindfulness for Moms: the Basics</a></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mindful-motherhood/201005/incorporating-mindfulness-motherhood" target="_blank">Incorporating Mindfulness into Motherhood</a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-91834677785952205182011-12-20T10:31:00.000+00:002011-12-20T10:31:45.582+00:00The Complete Buddhism for Mothers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU3wnGswBlSaLI1rX9JU5l5VXRHlHK316w_0FfaVDn4afKU_9ShhbPzYT5FhPHDvBzVqqc2DO3cnED78QCaHQpLTKh209gNUHz15F6n5X-kY3d4F-WhttxsbTwEf72lcysleIhchg7zYi7/s1600/DSC01868.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU3wnGswBlSaLI1rX9JU5l5VXRHlHK316w_0FfaVDn4afKU_9ShhbPzYT5FhPHDvBzVqqc2DO3cnED78QCaHQpLTKh209gNUHz15F6n5X-kY3d4F-WhttxsbTwEf72lcysleIhchg7zYi7/s200/DSC01868.JPG" width="150" /></a></div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br />
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</div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Mmmmmm, a wee pre-Christmas gift to myself. </span></div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div><div style="color: #444444; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></div><span style="color: #444444; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">First step, the chapter entitled 'What can I do about all the housework?' There is four months' worth of laundry piled up in our back room, and getting each member of the family dressed each morning involves a blind rummage and a hope for the best. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8698976661565608074.post-68960608062715296032011-12-15T20:33:00.000+00:002011-12-15T20:33:32.928+00:00Getting to know me ...Hello, here’s a little bit about me: <br />
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In my ‘paid’ employment I’m a freelance writer and editor; my more compelling (and consuming) occupation is that of mummy to two amazing wee girls (at the time of writing, they’re both under the age of three). <br />
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My wishes for them are that they grow up to be confident, secure, well-balanced and, as far as possible, happy. I’m hoping they haven’t inherited my hair-trigger temper and, my tendency to brood and stew (over slights both real and imaginary). I also hope that their ambitions are not stunted by a vague feeling of ‘don’t know if I dare…’<br />
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Best way to make these things happen? Lead by example. So, here I am, aiming to become an oasis of serenity, equanimity and mindful awareness.<br />
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I am zen mummy, and I’m delighted to make your acquaintance.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12598120657360077240noreply@blogger.com2